So as you might have noticed I’m not really active at the moment! This has everything to do with my IRL situation. As I explain in THIS post things are very bad. My brother still hasn’t woken up… We now know he took one and a half pill called the Blue Filipino. In this pill there was a mix of methadone and amphetamine.

For those unfamiliar with all of this (and I hope you all are) methadone is kinda like a hospital heroin and amphetamine is in speed. This in mixture with alcohol and weed made his heart go in overdrive and he dropped to the floor not breathing. His friends became panicked and called the emergency services after him not waking up after 5 minutes. The operator explained to them how to do CPR but if you never done it before it’s hard to get it right. After 15 minutes the cops came and took over the CPR. With a defibrillator they got his heart and breathing sort of stable again. (This was sunday)

In the hospital they cooled him down to 33C (91.4F) to keep the damage done to his brain due to lack of oxygen to a minimum. After that they warmed him and stop giving him sleeping medicine. He was suppose to wake up. And well he kinda did but he got epileptic seizures. Which isn’t good. Again the had to put him to sleep and give him medicine against those seizures. Because they can’t measure his brain activity while he has them. (This was Monday)

They kept him asleep until the seizures where under control. (This was Tuesday)

Today they stopped the sleep medicine again and he should have woken up. Or at least give some signs. Like pupils dilating, raising an eyebrow or grabbing our hand when he hear us. But… Nothing. We did have some moments where we thought he was there. He had to cough and we saw his face make a crying face. like he wanted the tube in his mouth gone. But that was 2 seconds… 

I know some of you will not like me sharing all of this but I’m a person who always shares everything. We have a saying in dutch “het hart op the tong hebben” literally translates into “having your heart on your tongue” and it means you always talk about what keeps you busy in your heart. 

And to sum up: Drugs are bad, Everyone should know basic CPR, My brothers is not doing well and everything is still possible but the longer it takes the worse, and no I’m not okay. I’m still here reading a lot because it keeps me distracted and I’m still working on POSE. And it might seem silly but I need something to do…

Don’t do drugs! Please!

Some might find it weird that I’m posting this but I need to share. Tw drugs! I need to tell someone, anyone.This is my 29th hour awake in a row so bare with me if my English is a bit shaky.

As you might have seen the last week I took a little break from posting because of some real life stuff. And I want to share with you all what it was/is.

So for context: my parents are divorced, they got remarried and got kids again. On my dads side I got a brother when I was 11 and a sister when I was 13. So we have an age gap. I lived with my mom and was at my dads 1 weekend in 2 weeks. So I never really grew up there…

My brother is a 16 now and actually a good guy but he also wants the be cool. But he got with the wrong crowd. Last year he stole my dads car to do a joyride. He had been using drugs when he was supposed to sit in school. Disappeared for nights only to get back after he was high. All the stress about what and where…. there wasn’t a proper night of sleep for months.

Last Wednesday we had a sort of intervention. He would try to do better. Friday on Saturday he stay out all night again without saying anything. My dad called me again crying… I told him to lock the doors and let him stay with his friends if he wanted it so badly. I was just done with everything. On which my dad said: I can’t… if I do he’ll end up somewhere dead in the gutter.

Later yesterrday(saturday) he got home, acting like he did nothing wrong. So my dad got pissed. Rightfully so. Again he had stayed away without saying anything until the next day so they had fight(with words mind you). Some what later my sister wanted to go to a Halloween thing with friends so my dad and stepdad brought her there. When they got back home, my brother was gone… again.

Calling didnt help because just wouldn’t pick up. So they went to bed. At around 1:40 am they heard knockin. Finally he got home, they thought. But instead of my brother there were 2 policemen. This wasn’t the first time that that happened so my dad asked them: arrested or accident? But they replied with: please have a seat. As you might know… that’s not good.

At this time I was at home still streaming and having fun. Just a few minutes after my stream ended I got a phone call from my dad at 2 am(ish). He was crying and I couldn’t understand what he was saying. The only thing I heard was: hospital, emergency room (idk what’s it called in english) and my brothers name. Told my dad to sit tight and try to calm down and I would be right there(half an hour drive).

When I got there my dad and stepmom were crying their faces of. So I asked what happened because i didn’t see my brother anywhere. She told me: he mixed a few types of drugs. Became unconscious and stopped breathing. They reanimated him for a period of time and luckily he started to breath on his own again. But 5 minutes without blood being pumped to your brains is a very long time. He is now kept at the hospital. They lowered his temperature and keeping him asleep for at least 24 hours. And then they are going to see if he might wake up.

Everything is possible. From him not making it at all to him waking up tomorrow with nothing wrong. Him waking up but having so much damage to the brain he wouldn’t be who he was or other things. But at this point we would be happy if he just opened his eyes.

Sorry for sharing everything here I just needed to share. And like I say in the title thing. Please don’t do drugs. But if you do please use it in a safe environment.